Let me tell you what, folks...
I need to stop worrying about my seminar paper. I really do hate the class and have already produced 19 pages of somewhat-coherent narrative. I have two more weeks to finish it. I have to present on the damn thing on Tuesday and am currently being pestered by the little demons of grad-school doubt that tend to linger over my head the final weeks of the quarter. I have convinced myself that my argument is no good, that it isn't really coherent, that it doesn't fit very well with the class, and that it doesn't make any really interesting conclusions about either the text or the 19th century literary scene in general.
And yet, I know that this is false - and in any other class this would be a great paper. So what am I so worried about?
I'm fairly sure that a dissection of this will lead to general understandings about the inner-workings of the minds of graduate students and thus:
1 - My professor. I'm sure that you all understand that this has to be ranked #1 on the fear scale. He will refuse to interpret the text in the same way I do (of course - that's if he reads it). This feeling is quite common amongst grad students, I think, and accounts for about 90% of worry about papers and paper topics. It's not that we don't have good ideas, but sometimes - they just don't get across.
2 - The assignment is ill defined. That is, "hey, guys - write a 20 page paper about something relating to something we talked about in class, ok?"
3 - The class is ill defined. This leads to stress because of #2, as an ill defined assignment in a well-defined class still leads to papers more or less along the same lines, whereas an ill defined topic in an ill defined class leads to everything from offensive art to detective stories to Hawthorne to Atkins diets to silhouette drawings etc... (these all being topics of papers in this class). How one approaches deciding on a topic for this class depends apparently solely on the alignment of the planets and your particular like or dislike of lacy socks.
4 - Sources. How many do you need? I don't know, do you?
5 - Time. Ten weeks is not a sufficient amount of time in which to write a good paper - and yet I find that by being extra-special-paranoid these last few weeks I am somehow ahead of schedule. This is a Very Bad thing, because, as you all know, grad students are masochists. As soon as we see that we have free time, it is instantly consumed with the doubt that we should be spending more time on our papers - and suddenly free time becomes an enemy to be destroyed by blogging, checking email, drinking, watching movies, or generally tearing out our hair in small clumps.
And so, with this not-so-subtle analysis of my personal doubt executed, you will have to excuse me because I have to go and work on the outline for the presentation for the paper that I stole time for blogging to avoid.
And yet, I know that this is false - and in any other class this would be a great paper. So what am I so worried about?
I'm fairly sure that a dissection of this will lead to general understandings about the inner-workings of the minds of graduate students and thus:
1 - My professor. I'm sure that you all understand that this has to be ranked #1 on the fear scale. He will refuse to interpret the text in the same way I do (of course - that's if he reads it). This feeling is quite common amongst grad students, I think, and accounts for about 90% of worry about papers and paper topics. It's not that we don't have good ideas, but sometimes - they just don't get across.
2 - The assignment is ill defined. That is, "hey, guys - write a 20 page paper about something relating to something we talked about in class, ok?"
3 - The class is ill defined. This leads to stress because of #2, as an ill defined assignment in a well-defined class still leads to papers more or less along the same lines, whereas an ill defined topic in an ill defined class leads to everything from offensive art to detective stories to Hawthorne to Atkins diets to silhouette drawings etc... (these all being topics of papers in this class). How one approaches deciding on a topic for this class depends apparently solely on the alignment of the planets and your particular like or dislike of lacy socks.
4 - Sources. How many do you need? I don't know, do you?
5 - Time. Ten weeks is not a sufficient amount of time in which to write a good paper - and yet I find that by being extra-special-paranoid these last few weeks I am somehow ahead of schedule. This is a Very Bad thing, because, as you all know, grad students are masochists. As soon as we see that we have free time, it is instantly consumed with the doubt that we should be spending more time on our papers - and suddenly free time becomes an enemy to be destroyed by blogging, checking email, drinking, watching movies, or generally tearing out our hair in small clumps.
And so, with this not-so-subtle analysis of my personal doubt executed, you will have to excuse me because I have to go and work on the outline for the presentation for the paper that I stole time for blogging to avoid.
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