I feel another coming on.
Ok, I'm bitter, I'm rEEEEALLY bitter right now.
I stayed in Harper all day so that I could meet with my RWL students and help them through the (truly appalling) introductions and conclusions for their papers. In fact, I had TWO damn seminars today and one of them was arranged to be at 5fucking30 in the evening until 7goodamnPM so that it would fit in their oh-so-busy schedules.
And only 1 person showed up for the evening seminar. Out of, like, 6.
And so...
Dear student,
I admire the speed with which you wrote this essay, but I am fairly sure it is impolitic on your part to loudly proclaim to your friend that you wrote it 15 minutes before class right in front of me. Although I am nice, I am not deaf, and I am still grading you, you stupid, stupid moron. Besides the fact that your authorial haste is apparent from your entire lack of ideas, structure, coherence, style, and penmanship (invest in a printer), your utter ignorance of the prompts presented to the class is also a clue to your complete lack of effort on this assignment. I want you to examine the marks that I have indicated on this paper and stab yourself in the hand with a sharpened #2 pencil once for each grammatical mistake (twice if it is a homonym mistake).
If you can still write after that, hand in a revised draft.
--Me
I stayed in Harper all day so that I could meet with my RWL students and help them through the (truly appalling) introductions and conclusions for their papers. In fact, I had TWO damn seminars today and one of them was arranged to be at 5fucking30 in the evening until 7goodamnPM so that it would fit in their oh-so-busy schedules.
And only 1 person showed up for the evening seminar. Out of, like, 6.
And so...
Dear student,
I admire the speed with which you wrote this essay, but I am fairly sure it is impolitic on your part to loudly proclaim to your friend that you wrote it 15 minutes before class right in front of me. Although I am nice, I am not deaf, and I am still grading you, you stupid, stupid moron. Besides the fact that your authorial haste is apparent from your entire lack of ideas, structure, coherence, style, and penmanship (invest in a printer), your utter ignorance of the prompts presented to the class is also a clue to your complete lack of effort on this assignment. I want you to examine the marks that I have indicated on this paper and stab yourself in the hand with a sharpened #2 pencil once for each grammatical mistake (twice if it is a homonym mistake).
If you can still write after that, hand in a revised draft.
--Me
1 Comments:
dear student,
your "essay" is an insult to this university and an abuse of the english language. what astounds me the most is that it's your first language, and you appear neither to understand basic vocabulary nor to model normal syntax. we all talk every day -- i'm curious, what do you think we're saying?
with great affection,
your instructor
p.s. please bring your texts to class and try to have your eyes open at least 60% of the time -- you'd be surprised how much *looking* like you've done the reading would appease me.
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Anonymous, at 2:46 PM
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