To the mattresses....

Remember "The Godfather?" That's me this weekend - not for fear of being the odd man out-and-about in a Mafia war, but rather for fear of never getting anything done on my dissertation.


So this weekend I will be invisible - traceable only from the faint scent of coffee that follows my studying everywhere.

This week has been hell, and I feel a serious need to detach and work - Even the boy is taking off for Racine.

If this seems too vague, let me give you a list

1. 6 (yes 6) writing seminars in which we analyzed every possible permutation of the idea of boredom as we slogged through one poorly thought out introduction after another.
2. Kafka - Tuesday was The Penal Colony and Thursday...
3. Teaching Kafka - as Bob was absent again, I had to somehow drag a class through The Metamorphosis (pulling teeth?)
4. Dissertation meeting - in which my prof. wrinkled his forehead and said - "I just don't get it...." followed by "So... how is this different from what other people have already said?"
5. My apartment is a disaster. I have been absorbing furniture (my parents have decided to move into an apartment) and thus my apartment looks a lot like a furniture warehouse. Anybody have a need for some opera chairs?
6. Depression - the drugs aren't really working very well anymore and I wake up in the morning with teeth that hurt from being clenched together all night.
7. Stress - Apparently I need to teach yet another of Bob's classes before the end of the quarter - this is a full 1/5 of the classes this quarter when I should be teaching somewhere around... oh.... none. In addition, although I really appreciate the drinks, being forced to take off for oldtown late Monday evening to talk about student papers lacked a certain something.
8. Preceptees are dropping out, and I can't help but feeling that it is somehow my fault for not helping them more at the beginning stages of their papers.
9. Student papers - while I'm on the subject, one student's paper (for Bob) was so blatantly offensive to not only the French in general, but my, you know, French professor, that I had to sit him down and have a chat about inappropriate and offensive writing (which he seemed to take as some kind of joke).
10. Weight - "Tipping the scales at nearly 1 Wisconsin unit we have in this corner, the world heavyweight boxing champion ----- Katie!" (cheers from the crowd)... yeah. It sucks

Thus, this weekend is all about the dissertation, sleeping, cleaning, pampering, exercise, and possibly a fruit fast.

Perhaps this will finally pull me together.

Today seems to be Kerri madness with studying and possibly thrifting, followed by the boy leaving for Racine, and me curling up with a nice calming appletini in a warm bubble bath.

Let's hope the bubbles clean out my head as well.

Fucker

http://www.carsmart.net/used-cars/Photos/rJ27360.jpg

Someone driving (driving? no- I should say emphatically NOT driving) this vehicle double parked in my car this morning for at least an hour, causing me to miss a dissertation meeting an raise my blood pressure to the point where the look I gave her as she slowly ambled her fat ass to the car should have incenerated her body.

Instead, she waved.

Oh - for lazer beam eyes.

Other than that, things are going deceptively well today - Bob has continued her quest to avoid making any lesson plans at all by last session splitting the students into small groups and having them talk amongst themselves for half the hour and present for the other half.

They also handed in short assignments.

I had to look through these assignments, also not my job.

I am going to go get some sushi, and when I return to the world of the reasonable, I will be prepared for, er, anything.

Riot?

http://www.ez-entertainment.net/interview/elf_col74-31af.jpg

nearly incited a riot in class yesterday.

She essentially did the professorial equivalent of "you two... fight to the death!"

We're reading "Last day of a Condemned Man" by Hugo


She looks around the class and says

"who agrees with the death penalty? Come on, fess up!"

A few students tenatively raise their hands

"and who here is a card-carrying Christian?"

A couple more hands... and looks of confusion.

"Who's a Jew?" she demands.

my mouth must have dropped open.

now she points at the kid who agreed with the death penalty and says

"You. Defend yourself."


This begins an attack by all the other students as this poor kid tries to defend his position. Things are getting a little heated (to say the least) and his voice is getting higher and higher.

Something must be done... and of course I'm turning red as (let's call her Bob) sits there and SMILES.

So I look at her and she says

"Let Katie talk, she looks pretty angry like she wants to say something."

angry?! what is she trying to do here?

So I say

" No, I'm not angry. Let's look at what Hugo [desperately trying to get back to some semblance of literature and normalcy] says about the death penalty."

I open my book to a page, any page.

"If everyone will look at page 13...."

And I start reading aloud in a very slow, very measured voice about whatever was on that page. The class slowly calms down and starts talking about the text and not yelling at one another.

And Bob is SMILING.

was this some crazy kind of test?

So I talk to her after class.

"wow, that was [be nice, be nice] pretty intense today"

"yeah, It was good"

"I was worried, I tried to get them back to the text"

"Oh, I wanted them to get angry"

Ah. Apparently tenure allows you to be a sadist.

huh.

yeah, she looks like that.

http://www.ez-entertainment.net/interview/elf_col74-31af.jpg

is annoying me today.

Apparently I am responsible for adding students to the class, finding books for her, and generally running the show? Is it simply the case that she wants to be MY TA, and that I should be the professor? Or perhaps that I can be scut-student-not-really-TA-girl?

rrrrrr.

Also...

May Bill Bennett die of a really really painful groin infection. Apalling.

The deal:

http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=b7ee875cdc2d5c00d80aeffe2b1be710

Out loud (yeah, he really did say that):

http://www.bennettmornings.com/pg/jsp/charts/streamingAudioMaster.jsp?dispid=303&headerDest=/site/preview?pid=31025

Oh, I am a rockstar.

Ok, so class went swimmingly - in fact, better than swimmingly, it went like an olympic swimmer who spontaneously mid-race grew gills.


We chatted about alienation. We chatted about Plato. We laughed, we made jokes. Students wanted to transfer into this section because they thought it was better than their other ones.

It was great.

Whew.

Ok, so now is the big test. Prof. M-----r comes back from France and we shall see what she thinks of my handiwork.

And like, spontaneously last night I decided to take up knitting. I highly recommend Stitch-n-Bitch 1 as an awesome way to learn. I can say this because the object that I have knitted so far (clearly destined to be a dishrag) actually looks like knitting and not, say, knots.

This is a step forward. So now I knit while the boy plays Grand Theft Auto, and then we do the exercise thing with me on my brand new elliptical machine and him on his freakish exercise bike of doom. My elliptical machine apparently has "orbital drive" which makes me feel like I'm in some kind of space program, and I can ride it while I watch Kill Bill, which makes me feel like I am some kind of stealthy elliptical ninja.

Ah the joys of video.

Today is administrative crap, class, yelling at the people at Bank One, and generally being on campus.

Tomorrow? Studying -- ooh, and I think the American cultures workshop is tomorrow - they always have really good food.