Today was a day of Whores.
Whore 1. My alarm clock - which somehow got set to "loud" this morning and thus woke me in a very uncouth manner (making me sit bolt upright in bed in fear that it was a fire alarm (note to self: get better alarm clock)).
Whore 2. My car for making a scraping noise this morning that made me stop and check to see if the tire was deflated (which, of course, went away as soon as I got out of the damn car to look).
Whore 3. The cat on the stoop that stared blankly at me and then turned away when I said hello, although every other day it walks over to say hi.
Whore 4. The University Bookstore for:
a. not having any fucking clue as to what classes are going on this summer
b. returning books to the publisher
c. STILL not having in the books for my German class until *possibly* tomorrow.
d. so I'll have to drive back to HP (not their fault, but I'm on a roll)
Whore 5. The weather: I don't know what's up with you, weather - but you're pissing me off. Clearly the humidity is over 100% and apparently you are trying to fill my apartment with enough haze to form entire weather patterns on my ceiling. This is unacceptable. Fucking rain already, or get hot, or cold, but no more of this bullshit.
Whore 6. German: because you are too long, and in a hot room, and I don't want to learn you in the first place, and you have compound nouns that almost qualify as a whore on their very own.
Big Fucking Whore 7. The Field Museum: Who is clearly the most annoying whore on this list as it CLEARLY STATES that their free day is Thursdays (ALL Thursdays) IN THE GUIDE BOOK AND ON THE WEBSITE, but inexplicably, after taking the bus all the way to the loop Kerri and I found out that it was not indeed a free day and in fact there are only free days on Mondays and Tuesdays in September. Oh bitchy bitchy bastards.
Whore 8. The actual whore about which Kerri and I had a small argument as to if he was a she or not which was decided as soon as he spoke. The wig is very fake, dear - and those thigh-high boots must be killer in this heat.
Whore 9. The doorknob of my apartment upon which I smacked my hand this morning causing lots of pain that has persisted well into the afternoon and is, in fact, making this painful to type.
Whore 10. The CTA for not running more #6 on weekdays at rush hour (which meant that I had to stand pressed to the front door, unable to move all the way down Lakeshore.
rrrrrr.
Whore 2. My car for making a scraping noise this morning that made me stop and check to see if the tire was deflated (which, of course, went away as soon as I got out of the damn car to look).
Whore 3. The cat on the stoop that stared blankly at me and then turned away when I said hello, although every other day it walks over to say hi.
Whore 4. The University Bookstore for:
a. not having any fucking clue as to what classes are going on this summer
b. returning books to the publisher
c. STILL not having in the books for my German class until *possibly* tomorrow.
d. so I'll have to drive back to HP (not their fault, but I'm on a roll)
Whore 5. The weather: I don't know what's up with you, weather - but you're pissing me off. Clearly the humidity is over 100% and apparently you are trying to fill my apartment with enough haze to form entire weather patterns on my ceiling. This is unacceptable. Fucking rain already, or get hot, or cold, but no more of this bullshit.
Whore 6. German: because you are too long, and in a hot room, and I don't want to learn you in the first place, and you have compound nouns that almost qualify as a whore on their very own.
Big Fucking Whore 7. The Field Museum: Who is clearly the most annoying whore on this list as it CLEARLY STATES that their free day is Thursdays (ALL Thursdays) IN THE GUIDE BOOK AND ON THE WEBSITE, but inexplicably, after taking the bus all the way to the loop Kerri and I found out that it was not indeed a free day and in fact there are only free days on Mondays and Tuesdays in September. Oh bitchy bitchy bastards.
Whore 8. The actual whore about which Kerri and I had a small argument as to if he was a she or not which was decided as soon as he spoke. The wig is very fake, dear - and those thigh-high boots must be killer in this heat.
Whore 9. The doorknob of my apartment upon which I smacked my hand this morning causing lots of pain that has persisted well into the afternoon and is, in fact, making this painful to type.
Whore 10. The CTA for not running more #6 on weekdays at rush hour (which meant that I had to stand pressed to the front door, unable to move all the way down Lakeshore.
rrrrrr.
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